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The Movie Hole

Look at this bullshit poster for an upcoming movie...

JJ Mortimer

I should have kept this stored away inside some far-off center of my brain as a cancer-creating hatred, but movie advertisers and marketers are completely fucking unoriginal and insane.

I would say, "This has gone too far in the realms of ripping-off", but for the better part of ten years now we have already been too far to say we've gone too far.  Since "Batman Begins" was a good success for the darker origin stories of many heroes, now we get origin stories for other characters (comic book superheroes, novel characterizations, even real-life people given fictional back stories) at least three times a year.  NOW, we are degraded to origin stories for VILLAINS, and all marketed in the exact same way that Christopher Nolan's Batman franchise was. 

Just look at this shit.

DID YOU LOOK AT IT??  It's fucking Batman!  This is fucking Batman in the shape of a Dracula movie, in the heart of the "dark re-imagining" of every gawdamn property Hollywood can think of.  What's worse is this is Dracula, which is a dark and bloody enterprise to begin with, yet Hollywood will still find a way to make it PG-13 and devoid of any kind of gore.  They will turn Dracula into some kind of comic book character instead of the brooding, gothic figure that Francis Ford Coppola and Bram Stoker already properly portrayed him to be.

My God....just look at this rip-off diarrhea bullshit....

I'm not arguing in the defense of the sanctity of the Dracula character.  Hollywood has already fucked and raped him worse than a child molester in a maximum security prison.  What I'm arguing against is the need to make every damn movie look exactly the damn same.  If you literally were to take the words "Dracula Untold" out of the above poster and put "Batman: Arkham Asylum" instead, nobody would bat an eye (nice pun).

The inherent lack of creativity has all but been shoved aside for "relative intermedia" - a term I just made up to acknowledge that movie producers and marketers will do everything they can in their power to make their product at least look just like something else recent that was very successful in hopes of stealing the audience's money before their short-term memories come back and remind them that they are seeing the ninth reboot/remake/origin story in a row that sucks the blood right out of the character's balls.

At least with another Dracula movie, you know it's going to suck in some manner of the word.

P.S.  Does anybody even fucking care where some of our favorite villains came from?  Nobody wanted to know what kind of a kid Michael Myers was before the events of "Halloween".  Nobody needs to know that Darth Vader was just an angry, bratty little kid.  And nobody sure as hell wants to find out that Jason Voorhees is just really upset that his mom killed his pet bunny rabbit.  Just let them kill people. 

I'm done.