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The Movie Hole

Box Office Predictions - June 27-29

JJ Mortimer

Despite everyone almost unanimously hating the previous two abortions from the series, everyone is still going to go out to see Transformers: Age of Extinction.  The memory of many people will be called into question as such reviews come back with a confused tone, as to how they never would have thought this movie would be shit.  Then again, maybe it will be good (a Rotten Tomatoes score on par with the last two Transformers films, as of this writing,  doesn't bode well for that hope).

Thankfully, the film will drive a lot of business back into theaters, which the industry desperately needs in order to make more shitty movies.

Last weeks new films Think Like a Man Too and Jersey Boys will crash in their second weeks, leading again into another weekend where older films holdover with better results.

What's hilarious is, despite what I said about being thankful for the money that will be made by Transformers to make more shitty movies, people just don't seem to care about quality when objects are blowing up.  I mean, we all complain about how crappy some of these big-budget movies are, yet we STILL will fork over a billion dollars back into the hands of producers and distributors, giving them more reason to make even more of these fecal compositions.

Anyway, here's what I think will happen this weekend:

1)  "Transformers: Age of Extinction" - $122 million

          The Dinobots look like recycled metallic shards and trash.  Optimus is seen riding on the back of a fire-breathing dragon, wondering where the term "Dino-bot" ever came into play or if Michael Bay even knew what the source material was.

2)  "22 Jump Street" - $15.1 million

          In the next week or so, 22 Jump Street is going to pass 21 Jump Street, leading Sony to ruin the end credits joke by making a third film.

3)  "Think Like a Man Too" - $15 million

4)  "How to Train Your Dragon 2" - $13 million

5)  "Maleficent" - $8.1 million

          This film will pass $200 million this weekend, which I'm fine with considering I actually enjoyed it.

6)  "Jersey Boys" - $7.7 million

7)  "Edge of Tomorrow" - $5.9 million


Overall, the weekend will not add too much to the summer take, making this year follow in the trend of the past decade of diminishing returns unless an Iron Man or Avengers film is playing.