contact us

Use the form on the right to contact us.

You can edit the text in this area, and change where the contact form on the right submits to, by entering edit mode using the modes on the bottom right.

           

123 Street Avenue, City Town, 99999

(123) 555-6789

email@address.com

 

You can set your address, phone number, email and site description in the settings tab.
Link to read me page with more information.

Bullshit!

Here's where you'll find things that annoy me and things that I feel like ranting about.

According to the radio, DUI is A-OK

JJ Mortimer

Do we actually support this bullshit?

NoCuffs and Top Gun DUI are two law firms that advertise heavily on the radio, handling drunk driving cases while claiming that you're a fucking idiot for accepting responsibility and pleading guilty to your case.  These attorneys lay claim that, despite being over the legal blood alcohol level upon your arrest, you may not have to go to jail or forfeit your drivers license.  They claim to have experience in getting people out of this kind of trouble while using catch phrases such as, "Friends don't let friends plead guilty."

How about this one, assholes - "Friends don't let friends drink and drive."  Or, better yet, "Don't drink and drive."

Remember when these last two phrases were very common in the days of D.A.R.E. and 80s-90s intolerance of drugs and drunk driving?  I do, and as kids we all learned about drinking and driving by watching volumes of videos called "Red Asphalt."  Apparently, D.A.R.E. lost federal funding in 1998 (our money probably went to supporting drug smugglers in Nicaragua, or to Clinton's raging burger-coke-and-ugly-whore addiction), and "Red Asphalt" has been deemed too inappropriate/offensive for schools to show to students.

So now we allow DUI law firms to advertise on the radio for people to hear on their way to work - people who are currently (hopefully) sober, and WITH a driver's license.  We are essentially giving people who may drink and drive in the future a sense of 'hope' that they can go out, get shit-faced drunk with some piece of shit bar whore whose name they don't even know and probably has crabs the size of roaches, and feel no consequence of their 0.09 BAC because defense attorneys Darren Kavinoky and Myles L. Berman have their back.  That's actually funny, because upon researching client reviews on Yelp shows that quite a few people have been raped of their money by Myles Berman, who will want thousands upon thousand of dollars before an ounce of "research" is even made involving your "case".

Speaking of rape, go to the NoCuffs web site and look at the picture of Darren Kavinoky.  He doesn't want to help you wrongfully get out of a DUI conviction - he wants to rape you of something more than your money.  For you "Walking Dead" fans, he's a human version of Terminus.

So in summary, radio shows and advertising agencies are OK giving time to allow people to know that there exists attorneys who care about your necessary drinking habits, and that you will be behind the wheel in time for another Friday night of drinking, and then back out on the street to see how many points you can get with all the people's bodies you can smash.