The advertisements for this season of The Ultimate Fighter - American Top Team vs. Blackzilians once asked, "Which side are you on?" Which side of B-level promotional prospects/rejects are you on? Which side of fighters who neither care to win, or only choose to blanket themselves on top of other fighters for the duration of the fight to eek out a victory ARE YOU ON?
I'm on neither, because that's like asking if I happily choose to be constipated with sharp cramps for a month, or have explosive, fiery diarrhea for that same duration of time - minus the cramps. Either way, I don't give a shit about either of them and I want nothing to do with them.
If it wasn't for the final two episodes, season 21 of The Ultimate Fighter would have been a bucket of diarrhea. Why would anyone want to watch a bucket of diarrhea, you ask? Well, I'm asking the same thing because this season sucked worse than a two-toothed vampire prostitute that bites. The point system was meaningless, Glenn Robinson (the owner of the Blackzilians) was a whiny little priss that mingles with his fighters only to boost his own ego, and the majority of American Top Team's fighters seemed to forget that winning was part of the reason why you fight.
The first four fights that the Blackzilians won were boring as a Richard Linklater film. The Blackfailians' fighters implemented a highly-successful game plan, honed over many generations of combat sports known as "Wrestle-fucking". They used it so well that porn stars would have been bored by it were it done in the nude. The opponents at ATT looked like they were being raped. If you watched the fights muted, you would think you were watching a recreation of an episode of Cold Case Files involving an unsolved man-on-man raping.
The only saving factor mid-season was ATT's Hayder Hassan, the first fighter from that camp to score a victory and to actually knock an opponent out. Then the Blackzilians went back on a roll until ATT won a couple to make the final episode actually have a little bit of drama.
All that being said, the second-to-last episode had the best come-from-behind victory (not a reference to the man-rapings from earlier in the season) with ATT's Michael Graves choking out Jason Jackson after being kicked in the cock and balls and having the back of his head beaten on like a red-headed prison inmate for nearly an entire round. Great fight, especially when watching Glenn Robinson bounce around afterward like an elementary school child complaining that a bully spilled his carton of chocolate milk.
The final episode fittingly had the best all-around fight. For the third time, Hayder Hassan, the Jesus Christ savior of his ENTIRE FUCKING TEAM, stepped up and fought hard and well, pulling out a split decision victory. I actually thought Vincente of the Blackzilians won the fight, but Hassan winning was actually icing on top of the shitty cake. ATT celebrated, but in reality, the fact that he won three of the fight fights that his team could claim actually made his entire team look even worse. More fighters from the Blackzilians won their fights, which proves that the whole point system adopted this season (for whatever reason) was a complete joke. A dick joke. With no punchline. The season came and went.
Of course Hayder was picked for the finale. He's the only fighter who went unbeaten, with 60% of his team's success (on paper) owed strictly to him.
On a technical front, my real complaint about this season was the complete lack of entertaining substance that even approximately 15 other seasons were able to bring to the table. NOTHING happened in the house, yet the show tried to fill it's inexplicable one-hour run time with repeated scenes, unnecessary slow-motion shots, and boring training sessions that showed nothing of creative value from the coaches, nothing of individuality from the fighters, and no reason to give a shit about any of these guys. Other seasons actually had something going on in the house because it wasn't two gangs going at it (despite the men being broken up into two different teams). This season had almost a family/gang atmosphere because half the people knew each other, and the other half knew each other. There weren't sixteen individual fighters from different backgrounds and varied parts of the country mixing it up with each other. The only way this season could have had any drama was if the two teams recreated scenes from West Side Story, The Warriors, or The Outsiders in the Ultimate Fighter house, but with pool cues and pieces from broken shot glasses.
I sincerely hope they abandon this format for the next season. No more team-based point system. What WOULD be interesting is if they mixed two weight classes from the opposite ends of the spectrum - straw weight women and heavyweight men, all living in the same house. And they all train with each other. I'm just scared that they will promote wrestle-fucking for that season to boost the ratings.
SEASON 21 FINAL GRADE: D+
I would also like to add that the Coaches/Owners Challenge was hilarious. Watching Glenn Robinson run the final stretch of a relay race was like watching a 250-pound trash bag full of ass fat jiggle its way toward a finish line. Even when money was on the line, his tweety-bird legs just couldn't manage the strength necessary to haul his oxen-like proportions toward a short-term financial goal.