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Video Games & UFC

Two UFC Fight Nights (June 28) - Predictions

JJ Mortimer

This weekend there are two Fight Nights - one is free on television, and the other requires you to pay more money for a membership to a service that is incomplete in order to watch an event that is taking place at a time when you are probably asleep.

And someone here is going night-night.

And someone here is going night-night.

First is UFC Fight Night 43 - Marquardt vs. Te Huna

MAIN EVENT

Nate "The Great" Marquardt vs. James "Makes me want to eat a tuna sandwich" Te Huna

Both men are fighting for their jobs.  On paper, this is an odd fight to have as a main event AND on the UFC's illustrious Fight Pass because the transcript looks like two losers who haven't won a fight in over a year.  Nate is nowhere near the fighter he once was when he fought Anderson SIlva for the title (I was hoping he would get a rematch because I felt at the time he was the only man able to beat Silva), and Tuna Fish Sandwich is from New Zealand, so naturally they put him on the New Zealand main event.

Regardless, whoever loses this fight (and someone will lose DEVASTATINGLY) is going to get their termination papers, or whatever they called "walking papers" back in the 30s.  Was it walking papers?  OK, then that's what Nate's going to get because the man's chin is made of paper mache and The Tuna, err, Te Huna, is going to mold his fist into his face.

James Te Huna will defeat Nate Marquardt by KO in Round 1.

CO-MAIN EVENT

Soa Palelei vs. Jared Rosholt

For some reason, Palelei is the betting underdog in this fight.  This is a man who once shook Pat Barry's hand and Pat's eyes rolled over into the back of his head and made him reconsider contact sports.  It was actually a punch but gawdamn what a punch.  Either way, my money is going on the underdog of this sloppy man-belly fight fest as Palelei will smash Jared Rosholt's head into the other side of the UFC mat as he sits on top of him like He-Man on Battle Cat.  Battle Fat...these guys are quite lumpy.  But, it will be a decisively tiring effort as all that punching on Rosholt's evolutionarily-advanced concrete skull will only slow him down and lead him to a decision victory.

Soa Palelei defeats Jared Rosholt via unanimous decision.


Another horrible action Photoshop deal.

Another horrible action Photoshop deal.

Next is UFC Fight Night 44 - Swanson vs. Stephens:

MAIN EVENT

Cub Swanson vs. Jeremy Stephens

Both men are on a winning streak (Swanson with 5, Stephens with 3), and both have never looked better.  What makes this an intriguing matchup is that, in my eyes, both of these men are extremely aggressive, almost to the point of being careless at times.  Swanson keeps his hands low, and Stephens rushes forward with ill-intent.  Technically, Stephens has this fight mainly because of his slightly better face defense and a need to remember fourth grade mathematics.  On the other hand, Swanson's inability to plan ahead for future use of language skills might give him the edge he needs to beat a more complete fighter in Jeremy Stephens.

Cub Swanson defeates Jeremy Stephens in Round 3 via TKO


CO-MAIN EVENT

Kelvin Gastelum vs. Nicholas Musoke

I don't know Musoke either, but Gastelum is pretty motivated for a young fighter, so no matter who he's fighting at this point, I'm giving him the slight edge based solely on the fact he's living his dream. 

Kelvin Gastelum defeats Nicholas Musoke via decision.